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sonic
27-May-19
Belated thoughts on a delayed movie
Well, the Sonic movie trailer was terrible enough that it had to miss the Christmas window and launch in February instead, so they can fix it. The cynic in me says they had already begun work on a better model, and deliberately launched the trailer with the worse one as an excuse to say they were "fixing it" for the fans, and also to get what looks like a generic "fictional character-in-real-world" movie out of the Christmas launch season. So let's just get the thoughts I had when I watched that trailer out of the way right now.

Yes, that model is terrible. It looks like a rejected Pokemon design from Detective Pikachu. What it doesn't resemble is Sonic. Speaking of resembling, let's talk about Jim Carrey. Jim Carrey resembles a 90's Jim Carrey. You know what? That's OK. 90's Jim Carrey was funny. What he doesn't resemble is Robotnik.

I have been told that these are the two essential points Jim Sterling made in his analysis of the trailer, and that's terrible, because that means I am agreeing with Jim Sterling about something Sonic-related. Look what you've done, Sonic movie. Look what you've done. Now I haven't actually seen the rest of Mr. Sterling's dissertation, but I'm assuming the man who somehow gave Sonic Colours a 4/10 doesn't have much nice to say about it. So here's where we'll differ. I... didn't mind the rest of the stuff in the trailer. Gangsta's Paradise remains an absurd music choice for a Sonic movie, but at least it's a good song? Robotnik using Heroes-esque drones is... about what we could expect from a real world setting that doesn't want to turn into the third act of Mortal Engines, the joke at the end with Sonic in the bag was actually pretty funny, and even the much-maligned portal rings remind me of nothing so much as Special Stage rings.

So, it just looks... meh. It's going to be The Smurfs rather than Detective Pikachu. That's sad, but at least That Model is going away now. So it could be worse.

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